072 – Of Timing And Stars

We cover Orion today! His blinding and somehow or another usual death by Artemis’s hand and a bit about how upset I was to find that he too falls into the Sex Offender Category  

071 – Nobody Likes The Undead

We are talking about the great healer of Greek Myth. Who might have been a Lich, Aesculapius! famous for raising the dead, in apparently a larger amount than I remembered and was smote for doing so. Sometimes.  

070 – The Theoretical Death of Theseus

We finish up Theseus today! Covering Peirthous Bad Idea, Theseus kidnapping Helen as a child and his ignoble death by the hands of some guy. Unless he never came out of the underworld. 

069 – Theseus Knows Some Interesting People

In which we cover the uprising against Theseus, the random going out of his way to irate the amazons, the story of Phaedra and Hippolytus, and touch on another divine sex change story.   Correction it is at the 4 dollar sub level not 5  

068 – A Surprisingly Persistent Crown

Theseus takes a small vacation in Crete, Defeats the Labyrinth with whatever Ariadne happened to have in her pocket and we follow the consequences of his actions up to the death of Minos. 

067 – Bye Medea!

Theseus gets to Athens, meets a nice little ol’ lady, captures and kills a rampaging bull, almost get poisoned and Volunteers for Tribute. Medea leaves our mythological stage in a fit of pique and sometimes rescues her father on the way out. Plus the poor neglected Medus.  I get a bit excitable with Theseus proclamations … Read more

Announcement

As mentioned on Twitter earlier this week, I have news! I think Happy News that I want to share with everyone. 

066 – Your Money Or My Life

We kick off the official start of Theseus story as he wanders along the coast killing a bunch of bandits thru… well mostly brute strength.  We cover 5 bandits who all have an interesting gimmick, two of which involve monsters who love them Lake Placid style. Reasons we are explicit: So Much Murder All Around, … Read more

065 – Not The Guy From The Hunger Games

A surprise academic episode! It turns out, to my surprise, that Plutarch is a necessary source of the frame work for  story of Theseus. So this week we are looking at Plutarch and his life work “Parallel Lives”.

064 – You Know Who Else Has Kings? Athens

A look at the Athenian Kings list, which includes a suprising, if not excessive amount of Lizard People. Plus Procis is back. We cover up until Theseus’s conception and his sometimes fathers happy third marriage. Bonus Herakles thought Jason was an ass-hat too! Reasons we are Explicit: Lizard People, Procris, Procreating With Lizard People, A … Read more

063 – From Queen To Outcast

As we wrap up the discusion on Medea and Jason we talk about Child Murder.  A lot. We discuss the options of Jason’s death and I finally explain why I hate this guy so hard.  Also this episode as a snippet from Extra Credit 11 about the orginal audience of The Medea. Reasons we are … Read more

062 – It Is All In The Seasoning

Medea introduces the daughter of Pelias to a Stew Recipe and Pelias gets his comeuppance for something or another.  Aeson and his family dies… Sometimes. Acastus gets the throne of Ioclus and kicks our couple the hell out of his country.  As a bonus we get to hear a bit of Medea Awesomeness that is … Read more

061 – Someone Read The Odyssey

We are covering the Voyage of the Argo from when they leave Circe’s Island to the defeat of Talos, mostly following Apollonius as he is still the closest to a canonical source for the material for all this sequence of events are based more on The Odyssey than any previous variations of the Argo’s Journey.  … Read more

060 – Born To Die

We are on the return trip of the Argo, but there are options as to how that trip goes. We discuss the death of Absyrtus who was added into Mythology just to die horribly and have his corpse desecrated and meet Circe. Reasons we are explicit: Child Murder, Corpse Desecration, Geography Expansion Packs, Options, A … Read more

059 – Keep Dreaming

Jason meets Aeetes, the beloved son of Helios and Medea the Beloved daughter of Aeetes. He starts off on the wrong foot but everything is made better by godly intervention and he pulls off some admittedly spectacular stuff.  Then sneaks off in the middle of night. Reasons we are Explict: King Sex, Revoking Of Free … Read more

058 – Side Effects Include Blindness

We are covering the last leg of the Argo journey to Colchis and most looking at the eye watering variations of Phineus. People Die, Speed metal is invented and we get another solid reason to be careful of how you word things. Reasons we are explicit: Lack Of 30 Foot Jumping Shark, Thrace, Step-Mothering, Also … Read more

057 – Sexy Times

Back to earning our Explicit tag with Sex, Murder and a possible case of Humanitarianism, cause it isn’t cannibalism if your not human to begin with. We follow the first leg of the journey of the Argo to Lemnos where the sex happens, then to Cyzicus where a guy ends up killed for a really … Read more

056 – Party Balance

This week we tackle the list of Argonauts thru the three surviving lists we have.  It’s a lot of names, some really interesting asides and up until Apollonius goes nuts on us a solid party of adventures.  Final Total: 5 Sailors, 2 Seers, 3 Rouges, 1 Bard, 1 Healer, 1 Berserker and 5 counts of … Read more

Halloween Bonus – The Sorcerer’s Apprentice by Lucian

For All Hallow’s Eve I thought I would share the original version of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice with you all.  It comes from The Lover of Lies by Lucian. Where the whole story is a group of guys telling ghost and monster stories to each other at a tavern while bored.

055 – A Perfectly Normal Family Reunion

Doesn’t everyone’s Family BBQ end up with someone declaring they shall go and avenge some ancient wrong that is cursing the bloodline? Or is that just me?Back to our myths! This week we start up the story of Jason with his family background and the giving of the quest that makes him famous.  We will … Read more

Donation Drive

I needs the money to keep the podcast going. So I am begging ya’ll for it with the goal of covering the podcast bills every month. you can either sign up on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mythtrans Or Website: mythologytranslated.com Please y’all lets make the podcast self sustaining!

054.5 – A Reading From The Argonautica

A small section from the Argonautica of Medea’s Brother being killed by Jason in the same fashion in which one would slaughter an animal and Jason making Medea implicit in his crime.

054 – The Epic That Got Better

We cover Apollonius of Rhodes, get a bit of background on the hellenistic period and cover the work The Argonautica so that we can leave all this academics behind us and dive into the story of Jason. Virgil gets a shout out.

053 – Cults!

We get to one of the fruits of that delay! We are looking at Hero Cults and how they work. which segues nicely into why everything in our podcast thus far IS myth. Reasons we are explicit: Theology, Mycenaean Death Cults, Cheese Sauce, A Random Guy Named Fred

012 – Oh The Humanity!

The Humans are coming! We discuss the two main stories of how humans came to be, one that seems to be mostly a “going to hell in a handbasket” rant and the other which ends with Prometheus making friends with an eagle.

040 – Dissenting Opinion

Pindar is out focus this week as we discuss his life, how Odes work and focus on why even if I wanted too, I can’t dismiss his contributions to Mythology

052 – Herculean Commentary

This week we go all Doylest as I go over interesting things from the sources and the development of the story of the labors and how our concept of Herakles can find root in the comedies and dramas of classical greece. Reasons we are explicit: None really

051 – His Happy Destiny pt. 4 – Flaming Death

We are done! We are done! well not really, but close enough.  We will cover Deianeira and Herakles Marriage, The sheer fuzziness of how long they were together, Nessus’s horrible Lies, And my personal favorite the tricking of a random ass shepard into killing the greatest hero the greeks ever thought they had. Reasons we … Read more

050 – His Happy Destiny pt. 3 – This is it Boys, This is War

Herakles goes to war. More so than usual. This week we are covering three sackings, Herakles being mistaken for a Pirate, we finally try to unpack the Gigamache thing and the story of Auge, for those of you who have absolutely no interest in Pirates Why we are Explicit – Confusion, Headbutting, Being Mean To … Read more

049 – His Happy Destiny Pt. 2 – Slavery Part Deux!

I get the giggles this episode as we cover Iole, Omphale and an assortment of murders that means Herakles in the area.  Herakles finds he is at a low ebb of his popularity, which might have something to do with all the random murder and conquering he has been up too. He kills a guest … Read more

048 – His Happy Destiny Pt. 1 – Still Not Done

We are covering Apollo getting a friend, the Alcestis incident, which shockingly doesn’t involved Herakles shaking up with someone. The Sacking of Elis because Herakles can hold a grudge, The Molionoidai who I had never heard of but now rank high on my awesome scale, and the death of two random guys. Reason we are … Read more

047 – His Scandalous Career Pt. 5 – Dog Walker

We finish up the labors with the descent into the underworld to take Cerberus for a walk.  We will meet one of the priests of the Eleusinian mysteries, run into Theseus and his friend Pirithous, watch as Hades get shot and Herakles opens up a traveling side show. Reasons we are explicit: Animal Cruelty, A … Read more

046 – His Scandalous Career, Pt 4 – Reasons?

The Cattle of Geryones and The Apples of the Hesperides are on the docket for today.  We follow Herakles as he either threatens his way into a boat or conquered Iberia, fathers either the Scythians OR the Keltoi or maybe both, proves to be a rocking cowboy, tries to be liberated.  We also learn a … Read more

045 – His Scandalous Career, Pt. 3 – A Shopping Trip

Herakles is going after the Belt of Hippolyte and murdering up the place on the way there, while there and on the way back.  What I am getting at is a ton of murders.  We will also discuss the Amazons and the First Trojan War. Reasons we are explicit: Seriously! SO MUCH MURDER! Breast Mutilation, … Read more

044 – His Scandalous Career Pt. 2 – Livestock

The second round of labors, The Augean stables, The Stymphalian Birds, The Cretan Bull and the Mares of Diomedes.  There is only one sidequest of centaur killing, but I promise we will be getting more of that in a bit. Reasons we are explicit: Thrace, Beeps, Clever Birds, Bullshit, Pasiphae, The Theory That Human Flesh … Read more

043 – His Scandalous Career, Pt 1 – Fetch!

We are back from our move! This week we are covering the first 4 of the 12 labors.  The Nemean Lion, The Lernaean Hydra, The Cerynitian Hind, and The Erymanthian Boar. We will also discover Zeus apparently has some standards towards things he wont sex up, Kill off Chiron and try to figure out why in the … Read more

042 – His Eccentric Education

Alcaeus as a youth and the shenanigans and occasional murder he gets up too. Though to be fair, one of them is just a straight horrifying mutilation and there is a hint of an orgy as well.  We will cover up to the death of his First Wife and the bestowing of his most famous … Read more

041 – His Macculate Conception

The Start of Herakles. We will be going over Alcmenes’ entire family being slaughtered, the invention of the Lysistrata Gambit, and a cameo by our friend Tiresias. Reasons we are Explicit: Zeus In A Lab Coat, Soreness, Lysistrata Gambit, and Killing with Sticks. References: Episode 39 (Sthenelus)    

039 – Third Times a Charm

The last curse on our Thrice damned Atreides happens, for better reasons than the others, I think. The story of Chrysippus who was either one of few happy relationships we get to hear about, or the usual rape, kidnap stuff. And the discussion of whether or not Agamemnon is Atreus or Pleisthenes son. If Pleisthenes … Read more

038 – Oh Yeah, You Guys Exist!

The Theban line of kings is out topic for today, with a bit of an aside into one of the more icky myths. We will be covering the line of succession from Polydorus to Amphion and talking about the story of Procne and Philomela. Reasons we are Explicit: Rape and Mutilation, Child Stew, More Run … Read more

037 – Meanwhile, Back On the Island…

Minos and Pasiphae are our topics this week, with a bit of asides about Daedelus, and Minos’s brothers. I get the giggles because apparently Pasiphae is just a bit much and I find the whole Minotaur thing insane, even for Greek Myth. Reasons we are Explicit: Whoo Boy. Magical Transforming Ejaculate, Death Robots, Early Condom … Read more

036 – Stone, Horses and Propaganda

Pelops and Niobe are up for discussion today! We will be going over their brother who existed, How Pelops became king of Elis and Niobe’s fateful offhanded comment. Reasons we are Explicit: Where to start? Sweet Poseidon Loving, Decorative Skulls, Several Fairly Ugly Murders, Artemis Attempting to Out Athena Athena and Random Stoning All Over … Read more

035 – Vultures Are Gossips

Melampus was a well known and respected greek hero we really don’t know that much about. This week’s shorter episode dives into all the variations on how he ended up becoming a famous prophet and winning a third of a kingdom. Reasons we are explicit – Herpetology, Impersonations, Someone taking the Highlander too seriously, and … Read more

034 – It Is Not Polite To Kill Our Guests

Bellerophon is our topic this week. We will be looking at the murdery and non murdery versions of his story, Why the Non-Murdery is easier to understand, How his story developed into what we know today, the utter devastation that is the strategy of  stand on top of something tall and throw rocks at them, … Read more

033 – Fetch Quest pt 3 – Loot

We are wrapping up Perseus! He gets home, gets bored and founds the base for an entire civilization.  And somewhere in there proves he is kind of a good guy around the edges. Reasons we are Explicit – Actual History and Personal Opinions, I guess a couple of murders as well.

032 – Fetch Quest pt 2 – The Side Quests

We have a recap this week, which for the record is recorded exactly the way I tell myths outside of the podcast. This episode covers the death of Medusa, The rescue of Andromeda and that whole mess, and the first time we see Perseus use Medusa’s head.  There is also a book recommendation. Reasons we … Read more

031 – Fetch Quest pt 1

We are looking at Perseus, our first official demi-god. We will be covering his grandfather, who had issues even before the prophecy about his grandson, Perseus’ surreal conception, and show how insanely impersonally it was decided that Medusa must die. Reason we are Explicit: Sexy times, No Sexy times, The Attempt to Make Myth Make … Read more

030.5 – Bonus Lucian

Lucian was a 2nd century CE writer who wrote Satire. One of his better known pieces is Dialogue of the Gods, one of the sections deals with Ganymede being kidnapped by Zeus. Every time I even think of Ganymede I get sections of this running through my head, so I thought I would share. If you … Read more

030 – Hubris Or Excess?

In this episode we are covering the story of Marsyas and how it can be told as either Hubris on Marsyas part or general Godly Excess depending on how you want to play it. we will also be talking about  Satyrs vs Seilenos, Apollo being a bad winner, a really bad winner,  Athena being vain, … Read more

029 – What’s Love Got To Do With It?

In the last of information overflow from Nymphs we cover Apollo’s sex life. Pretty boys, Pretty girls, a complete inability to co-exist with Zephyrus, apparently a willingness to tag team with Hermes and we get our first canonical gay guy, so I guess everything before this was just practice. Reasons we are Explicit: I normally … Read more

028 – Winds and Wings

This week we continue our nymph induced tangent as we look at the Winds and their disturbing fascination with horses, A rather kick-ass weather vane, The varying options of Aeolus, The Harpies who have a legit job, and The Sirens who have a rather tragic backstory. Also we will continue our Public Awareness Campaign on … Read more

027 – Nymph-O-Mania

We are looking at famous nymphs and some obscure ones. We are covering the creation of Pan Pipes, Why laurel wreaths and Pine wreaths are sacred, at least two of the many ways stupidity can get you killed, and wanton transformations. Reason we are explicit, Mutilated Nymph Hats, Corpse Desecration, Way Too Much Running, Suicide, … Read more

026 – A Goat, A Horse and A Spider Walk Into A Bar

In a shorter episode this week, we introduce Pan, Chiron and tell the story of Arachne.  That Pan apparently needs medication and should be the patron saint of Emo if not, Chiron’s conception and astonishingly being a decent person, and Arachne’s tale of being too good to be tolerated. Reason we are explicit: Bestiality, Surprise … Read more

025 – Equal Opportunity Offending

We are covering Helios, Eos, and Selene this week.  Helios has a bit of kid trouble which leads to toasty humans, Eos apparently has a sex dungeon and Selene confuses unconsciousness with consent. Reasons we are Explicit: Kidnapping, Ravishing, Creating Races, Date Rape, Wanton Horsing Around, Witchcraft in passing and Making Zeus Look Reasonable.

024 – Seasons? Really?

We are covering the most famous myth in Greek Mythology, the abduction of Persephone by Hades. We will be covering the two main separate versions of this story, why the fact there are two version is important and maybe alter your perception of some of the gods. Also, I go in to full rant mode … Read more

023 – Insert Theater Pun Here

Today we are tackling Euripides and Theater also that philosophy will get you killed.  We spend a bit of time tracking down how we got the Euripides we have and discussing the changes he brought to theater and myths. Explicit warning – Philosophy

022 – In Wine There Is Madness

This week we cover the rise to power of our last Olympian Dionysus.  His very vague young adulthood, his seeming gift for making other people crazy and a minor discussion on Elves, Satyrs and Maenads in relation to Bad Ass Decay. Also a Theory that Dionysus committed Jihad before it was cool. Reasons we are … Read more

021 – Kids!

This week we go into the children of Cadmus The Awesome, Polydorus, Autonoe, Ino and Semele. We learn about why Peeping never ends well, That Step-kids must be destroyed at all cost (for some reason) and that Zeus might, Just might, have a heart. Reasons we are Explicit: Child Murder (both attempted and pulled off), … Read more

020 – Cadmus The Awesome and Tireaese Too!

We are going over the awesomeness of Cadmus, the nigh-immortality of Tireasese and contemplating Dragons. Reason we are explicit? None really. No rape, No cannibalism, No wanton murder or creepy god shenanigans. Well there is a bit about Orgasms and Explicit is the tradition.

019 – Stop Being Clever!

This week we are covering the three great punishments in Greek myth. And one that should be a great punishment, but somehow never makes the cut. Reasons for Explicit? Rape, A Few Nasty Murders, Human Sacrifice, and Cleverness.

018 – An Appalling Lack of Genre Savvy

A small amusing breather episode this week, detailing Zeus’s attentions towards Kallisto, Niobe and Europa. Reasons we are explicit? Sex, Sex, Lesbian Sex in theory, cuckolding and the valiant hunt for a word for Zeus’s interest in women that isn’t just calling him a rapist every time.

017 – Never Date A Girl With Baggage

This week we are looking at Pandora and The Great Deluge or Deucalion’s flood. There is discussion on the two very different ways the Pandora story can be told and a mention of slavery (more in the Greek sense). Why are we Explicit this time? Mild Profanity, Attempted Rape, Bodily Fluids, Theoretical Corpse Desecration and … Read more

016 – Bits and Bobs Round 1

This week we are doing a bit of mythological clean up before our next world shattering event. Those seem to pop up with surprising regularity. Covered today are Apollo and Python, the varied marriages of Aphrodite, and three first kings.  Reason we are Explicit this time: Animal Cruelty, Penis Pregnancy and Child Murder.

015 – Mommy Issues, Pt 2

Gaia has been carefully collecting her pawns and setting up the board. She has sprung a surprise war on the Olympians. In this episode we cover the three main stages of the Gigantomache. An actually serious warning, There is Rape, two depending on how you count it, and some serious Serial Killer behavior going on.

014 – Attack of the Cow Woman

Io is are topic for today, our first totally encapsulated myth.  A friendly warning to all those who love ancient Egyptian myth out there, get ready to get irritated.

013 – Lawsuits Are Good For Poetry

This episode deals with the biography of Hesiod and The Works and Days.  Be warned there might be a copious amount of Thens during the recap of the poem, Snark when discussing Hesiod in general and the tone of the poem in particular and more than the usual bit of cussing though it is all … Read more

012 – Oh The Humanity!

The Humans are coming! We discuss the two main stories of how humans came to be, one that seems to be mostly a “going to hell in a hand basket” rant and the other which ends with Prometheus making friends with an eagle.

011 – Babies for Everyone!

Zeus gets his freak on and fathers three more kids in this episode. Apollo and Hermes get off on the wrong foot, and a bit of slightly disappointing research nets us a workable list of the primary gods going forwards.

010 – Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

We are discussing the legitimate children of the King and Queen of the gods, then the children they had by themselves. Warning, This episode contains, robots, a digression, the mentioning of  trepanning and a hot warrior chick.

009 – But She’s Hot!

This is a very Ish episode. There is cannibalism-ish, Rape-ish, and people with something resembling self control. Oh and a wedding.

008 – Immortal Kombat

Fight! The Titanmache is upon us.  We cover the war, bits of the aftermath and Hades and Poseidon get new homes.

006 – Drinking With Strangers

Another short episode, but the last one  dealing with the run up of the titanomachy in which  Zeus gets married, there is some truly impressive vomiting, and the monsters in the basement come out to play.

005 – Mommy Issues, Pt 1

A Short Episode, where we meet the second generation Titans, experience our first but far from last round of cannibalism, and deal with the fact Gaia is still Vexed.

004 – Daddy Issues, Pt 1

This week we cover permanent birth control, why playing with your kids is important and the downside of having a very attractive sister.

002 – Kaos and The Primordials

In this short episode we create the universe, met our first round of characters, the Primordials, and hint darkly at things to come.