Let’s Read – The Lightning Thief – Chapter 7

After finding a surprising amount of other things to do, up to and including poking twitter for 20 mins, I guess it is time to do this. We will get thru this book!

Percy is now infamous! You know I would like to think it would take a bit longer for everyone to know what he did, but hey, gossip is gossip and it conceivably go that fast. There is a bit more Tour with a wet and squelching Annabeth who is taking this like a champ and continues to do her duty despite being doused and possibly pissed off. Then they get to the canoe lake and Annabeth tries but fails to peace out to Percy, who as a parting farewell declares his innocence in her squelching and she looks at him like he is dumb because she really thinks he is. She tells him to talk to The Oracle and she will ask Chiron about it. Ohh! An Oracle! This is exciting! Can it be the Sphinx? Or The Python? I will happily take a 10 year old on a tripod! Percy points out to her non-explanation of The Oracle that there is a surprising vast conspiracy to never give the kid a straight answer. Which I am starting to agree with.

Percy glances at the lake and waves at a couple of girls who are being friendly to him and actually smiling. Which I think is the first damn time in the entire book anyone WAS friendly too him other than St. Mom and Annabeth shuts him down saying Naiads are terrible flirts in a very disapproving manner. Percy then states he wants to go home.

As previously suspected we get ANOTHER round of trying to pound It into Percy’s head he is a Demi-God. Which takes about a page but feels longer. Percy screws up and asks Annabeth about her Dad, assuming that is where her divine heritage comes from and she gets indignant and states her mother was Athena, Upset as his assumption, though to be fair if Percy did know a damn thing about mythology Athena wouldn’t be one he would have guessed. You know virgin goddess and all.

Here is where we start to get that issue of keeping modern morality for our story of ancient and powerful gods. Percy gets all moral at the gods for being absentee parents. Which just doesn’t work for me on numerous levels. One, You are a shumck mortal, shush. Two, why are you judging them based on your concept of morality when they pre-date your moral system by eons? Three, very few of the gods ARE absentee parents in myth. I mean no one is as awesome as Helios, sure, but Ares is a good father, Poseidon himself does tend to take an interest in his kids, Zeus even tends to watch out for his kids when he remembers which ones they are. Hermes and Autolycus were best buddies as well as father and son. I am not sure why we are building this into this story as an obvious truth.

The whole reason Percy is now stuck at camp is that demi-gods attract monsters. Um…. No. Not particularly. If anything monsters tend to go Hell No, and book it the other direction. Not once in myth does a monster come looking for the hero. Every time the hero goes looking for the monster, that is kinda what makes them heroes, isn’t it? Some of them had to cross seas and oceans to go find a decent monster to slay. Even Herakles occasionally had to go else where to find something to kill and conquer.

Also, Demeter and Aphrodite not particularly powerful!?!

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

The Goddess of Lust herself is considered minorly powerful? You know in most urban fantasy novels people with that power set are almost always monsters themselves. As for Demeter… you know… The one that controls all the plants on earth isn’t powerful!?! Piss one of her children off, if they have similar powers and we get massive crop failure in that area which is still a huge concern as the food we eat comes from somewhere. Or you know maybe they can do the whole grabby vine thing. I would MUCH rather go up against a Scion of Ares who I will see coming than a daughter of lust or someone who can control plant life. I mean can be as simple as “oh? You like your house?” Boom isnta tear down from causing all the tiny seeds caught on the outside to sprout and burrow. Okay, having too much fun with making plant life scary.

Back to our story, Annabeth is 12. Like I thought she was 14 at minimum. She has also survived the place the longest at 5 years. And damn it I want allot more backstory here.

The only way Percy can leave is if he is granted a Quest. The last one didn’t go well apparently. Percy asks about the summer solstices and Annabeth gets excited about it but is upset to find Percy doesn’t know anything and what in the world in all the conversations you have had with him would indicate that he would?

Annabeth mentions going to Olympus which has been relocated to the top of the empire state building…. Why!?! I mean I know this is part of the “Gods In America” thing, but it is so…. Silly to me. And unnecessary. I kinda want to make a quick rant about how we honor the ancient greeks but completely ignore the modern ones, but that is another rant for another day. Probably one involving The Marbles.

Annabeth starts giving us plot, thank the gods! Something important was stolen and it needs to be returned by summer solstice. Okay! They are treating their progenitors like some sort of clan affiliation which is odd. Annabeth states Athena can get along with anyone but Ares and has a rivalry with Poseidon. And why the hell would that matter? Annabeth wants a quest and damn this would all work better if they were 14 or 15.

Percy finally walks away from Annabeth rather than her leaving like she said she would and I am not sure why that bothers me. He goes back to the cabin and his tiny spot on the floor and Luke comes over to give him a sleeping bag and some toiletries he says he stole. Percy Mentions a Hermes Family Resembles and hold the damn phone.

Dear Author,

you can’t keep doing this. Either Percy knows enough about myth to make that comment or he knows nothing. Please stop giving him completely random bits of information that he knows. I would greatly appreciate it as would my blood pressure.

Percy admits to not believing in the gods and Luke says that’s okay believing in them doesn’t really seem to help in a very bitter tone. Percy tries to talk to Luke but says all the wrong things. Luke apparently had the quest that went sideways and Percy asks him about being “Big Three Material” and why Annabeth asked if he was the one. Luke tries to explain that Annabeth is waiting for someone to come so she can go on a Quest as she is going a smidge stir crazy.

The Dinner Conch is blown so everyone lines up and Percy notices Artemis cabin that is starting to glow silver in the evening. And while I am okay with Athena having kids if she feels like, Artemis having kids is a bit much. She is a big bad hunter goddess I am pretty sure would take atleast 5 minutes to fully disarm and she would still have four weapons somewhere. She was very very insistent on that whole virginity thing. If Our Author wasn’t so set on using the Olympians this would have worked just as well and more logical to myth if it was Selene’s cabin.
Anyway, Percy seems to be okay with Dryads just walking out of their trees for diner or he has hit his nope level and stop taking any of it in. which would work if he wasn’t our narrator.

Dinner is odd. Everyone gets seated then Chiron toasts “To the Gods” and everyone drinks. Which isn’t quite right. That is a toast. What they are trying to do is a libation which would involve pouring it on the ground. Percy wishes for and gets Blue coke just for fun. Then everyone gets served some meats by the wood dryads who are apparently servants which is a bit odd as I tend to think of them a bit more monstery than that, but that might be all the myth I have read.

Then Luke prompts Percy to offer to the fire some of his dinner. He asks to know who is father is and as he tosses in his meat he gets a whiff of the offering smoke which smells like all things comforting and delicious to him. They Eat. Camp Director stands up gives a small speech of no importance other than some sort of athletic competition will happen and Ares Cabin is the current winners from last week (foreshadowing Y’all) and dismisses them all. They go to campfires, have fun and Percy collapses exhausted into his sleeping bag with the ominous but obligatory comment about it feeling like home and he regrets how briefly we would be able to enjoy it.

Thus ends Chapter 7.

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