Let’s Read – The Red Pyramid – Chapter 4

-By H.

Tally: Me – $5, Book -$0

And there it is: Carter had been telling him the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but it.  They are only children after all and been through a hell of an evening.  Poor little Carter – too stunned or too honest to lie.  I would have at least accepted him to be the type to fall on the sword for his daddy and tell them it was all his fault, but that would not have helped anything. The inspector is seriously threatening to arrest the two children when Amos Jedi mind tricked him out of it.  Why is no sensible adult screaming “Lawyer!” and kicking the inspector to the curb.  Poor parental decision making.  I know very little about the English legal system but damn really?  If anyone ever talking to the children I love like that…I digress.

So Amos is Dr. Carter’s brother – estranged brother.  Neither child knows him save a very distant cloudy memory.  And man! the power of these hieroglyphs! Very impressive!  Apparently, you can just scribble them on anything, with anything and shit gets real.  Amos manifested a boat out of nowhere by writing the “Boat” in the condensation on the glass door with his finger.  Extra credit to the book for really using the hieroglyphs for boat, with the connotation of fast boat in motion, but this is not how Egyptian magic works.  This is much more Charms class at Hogwarts. The magic of the Egyptians is so much more complicated.  To be fair, there are a lot of different forms of Heka throughout time and different forms for different purposes, but this version is just right out.  To accomplish anything, you first had to make sure your timing was right (like noon on the 9th day in the second month of Peret) and take the time to prepare not only yourself but your items (you must be ritually purified and have had time of the collect all the seven goose gallbladders and have them marinating in a proprietary blend of who-knows-what spices for exactly 2 weeks along with all the other accoutrements, the magic knife, the incense, the food offering, the talismans, and so on and on and on). With all the crap that’s necessary to perform this type of magic, I was hopeful when they mentioned Dr. Kane’s special bag.  There are the sort of spell that use hieroglyphs of course, but they don’t do what this book is suggesting they do. They bind, protect, solidify, proclaim.  They do not summon, at least not like that.  Hieroglyphs are not “magic words” like “wingardium leviosa”.  They are magic words because each sound, symbol, or word is sacred as a special creation of the gods and resonates with Ma’at, like a lullaby to the cosmos.  Anyway, I know it’s a fantasy book and it’s got to be all flashy and cool but maybe we could act a little more accordingly. Moving on, but I reserve the right to come back to this later on.


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